--- a/youtube_dl/__init__.py
+++ b/youtube_dl/__init__.py
@@ -439,7 +439,12 @@ def _real_main(argv=None):
     with YoutubeDL(ydl_opts) as ydl:
         # Update version
         if opts.update_self:
-            update_self(ydl.to_screen, opts.verbose, ydl._opener)
+            parser.error(
+                "youtube-dl's self-update mechanism is disabled on Debian.\n"
+                "Please update youtube-dl using apt(8).\n"
+                "See https://packages.debian.org/sid/youtube-dl for the "
+                "latest packaged version.\n"
+            )
 
         # Remove cache dir
         if opts.rm_cachedir:
--- a/youtube_dl/options.py
+++ b/youtube_dl/options.py
@@ -140,7 +140,7 @@ def parseOpts(overrideArguments=None):
     general.add_option(
         '-U', '--update',
         action='store_true', dest='update_self',
-        help='Update this program to latest version. Make sure that you have sufficient permissions (run with sudo if needed)')
+        help=optparse.SUPPRESS_HELP)
     general.add_option(
         '-i', '--ignore-errors',
         action='store_true', dest='ignoreerrors', default=False,
--- a/README.md
+++ b/README.md
@@ -53,9 +53,6 @@ Alternatively, refer to the [developer i
 # OPTIONS
     -h, --help                       Print this help text and exit
     --version                        Print program version and exit
-    -U, --update                     Update this program to latest version. Make
-                                     sure that you have sufficient permissions
-                                     (run with sudo if needed)
     -i, --ignore-errors              Continue on download errors, for example to
                                      skip unavailable videos in a playlist
     --abort-on-error                 Abort downloading of further videos (in the